Seriously

I had my eyebrows waxed again

2012-01-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

Jeff and I were in bed and he mentioned I have eyebrows left this time, but then he said,

"But I don't normally notice your eyebrows because they're not on your tits."

I can never complain he's not appreciative.

Kirin

2012-01-18T13:15:00.001-05:00

Update: Turns out I, somehow I skipped a huge chunk of Rosetta Stone, so that prob explains why I was a little lost when I started back up again.

So I said I'd let y'all know how Rosetta Stone (renamed Kirin) was going. Well, there are three CD's broken up into four units. Well, I got to the third unit of CD one and hit a wall. Like, I have no idea what that says.

So I back up to the core lesson before that. And it seems I've got that one pretty well down. So i think I've gotten to the point where retaining these lessons requires a little more practice. And I've found I have to look words up more often to make sure I'm understanding them correctly. But so far, so good.

Well, and I kinda took a three week hiatus.

A surge protector saved the treadmill.

2012-01-15T17:43:00.000-05:00

Every single time I turned on our new treadmill, the TV and internet signal cut off. A technician even came out this morning and said everything was fine. Jeff put two and two together when I hopped on the treadmill this afternoon. Start the treadmill, TV signal lost. Get off treadmill, reset box. TV signal back. Back on treadmill, TV signal lost. I mean, really? How is that possible without any other electricity issues?

I was about to get seriously frustrated. And seriously pissed with UVerse. I mean, treadmill away from the TV in the guest room? Um, that's a no. A very quick internet search, and read several not cheap options. But then I read, try a surge protector on the treadmill. Success!! The TV still squiggles a little when we turn on the treadmill, but the signal stays on.

This may be the first time I've ever used a surge protector for electricity surges. That I know of.

Well, it wasn't that bad

2012-01-11T14:16:00.000-05:00

I'm always a bit of a mind racing mess the night before and the day of a psychiatrist visit. Especially when I've acted like I'm a character in "Catcher of the Rye." (Not that I ever read the book, but I understand it's full on disrespectful teenager angst.)

So I told him about the incident, and he took all in stride in his soothing voice. Though I sincerely hope he has a different voice out of the office, or that would be irritating. But in this setting, it works fairly well. It keeps me talking, which is the most important part. He asked me if even wanted to change my meds because I still had hormonal fluctuations to deal with. (Awesome...) But I do think upping the Zoloft is a good idea. I'm still a bit of a tired mess.

But onto the real reason for this post.

Somehow I managed to have a very realistic dream this morning, so much so I told myself to wake up half way in between the dream and awake. It was about me screwing up and acting irresponsibly in which practically everyone I know confronted me about it. Embarrassing after embarrassing after shameful moment in my sleep. So perhaps I should just confront it myself. Get it out there. Try to release the shame. Because that dream sucked donkey balls. Right through the middle of a scar done almost exactly five years ago.

And that's half a yoga mat I stand on while at the sink or stove.

Oppsa-diddly

2012-01-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

It has been one long ass, damn I'm a crazy ass bitch who does not get to go another six months without seeing her psychiatrist type of week. I do want y'alls opinion, because what happened last Thursday. Well, I'm still just not sure. It's like my brain is a fuse box, and somehow I tripped a breaker.

When we got back from my parents from Christmas. I was tired. Like didn't anything to help my sleep tired. But I had spent three nights on an air mattress. We got back home and I slept. For three days. I was starting to feel better, so we went to play poker at a friends.

I thought about skipping and apparently should have. I started my period that day. Should be normal, but this was the first in over ten years without any type of hormonal birth control in my system. I had a few beers, and pretty much don't remember a whole lot. We got home, I was being a bitch, Jeff yelled. I don't remember at all what about. Though from my blog, we all know I was rather upset.

My first coherent, sane, calm memory was checking myself in at the ER because I needed stitches because I took a cheese knife to my forearm to calm myself down. Oops.

Less important things have caused divorces

2012-01-02T00:11:00.000-05:00

I won the family fantasy football league. Not only did I win. I went undefeated.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta!

So, we all know I drink

2011-12-30T19:12:00.000-05:00

And I did a lot last night. And yes, last night ended up being pretty shitty. And my psychiatrist and I will have a little more to talk about than I thought next week.

But I promise, Jeff's and I marriage is fully intact. And we just ordered Chinese.

blessed marriage

2011-12-30T04:07:00.000-05:00

it's a beautiful, wonderful thing.

but fuck me.

Shit.

It was nothing.

I'm still not entirely sure what happened.

Shit.

To wax or not to wax

2011-12-20T12:50:00.000-05:00

Good

(Could Megan Fox be any sexier? Heaven help me that woman is hot.)

Bad.

Much better.

(If I age that well, I'll be ecstatic. Reminder. find amazing dermatologist at age 40.)

My first eyebrow wax. Why did I wait 19 years?

While I'm at it. Some girl talk!!

2011-12-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

And somewhat postponing my hour of Kirin (Japanese Rosetta Stone) And waiting for the Dremel to recharge so I can file down my trashy, sparkly, completely impractical Vegas acrylics.

I thought I'd share some observations.

Man, is typing easier without those talons. Which is why I feel like bothering to keep blogging.

If you have been on a hormonal contraceptive for 10+ years (like myself) consider alternatives. Man, is this fun. Except your boobs get smaller. Pros totally outweigh that one con.
But not when you're a crazy hormonal teenager, then get on the Pill yesterday. Seriously. I'm telling you parents. And you, too, horny teenager. If you have questions about that, hit me up. I can tell you aallll about it. And if you think it gives a girl permission to just go out and be all slutty, that's just a reflection of your shitty parenting. I mean that with even more Seriouslyness. It gave me and my ovaries a good minute to think about it before I made a bad decision. And that's a helluva lot more than the average teenager. Adolescent advice lecture over.

My eyebrows were waxed into a tiny thin line, and it totally freaked me out for a few days. But now, I really am starting to like them. There's almost an arch there.

One corner of my mouth has been cracked for over a month. It'll get mostly better and then split wide open again. It's really starting to piss me off. I bought some stronger B-vitamins today. I haven't had problems with this since I was teenager. (When I started birth control. Hmm...)

Oh, and nothing to do with being a female. Just about being a lush.
Do not buy generic chewable Pepto tablets. Dear God, are they gross! The name brand ones really aren't bad, but these. Ugh. I just threw them away. Learning can costs money.

Hold that thought

2011-12-18T20:59:00.001-05:00

Jeff and I just got back from our December week in Vegas. Yes, we had a blast. No, we did not win any money. (Didn't lose any either. Which is technically a win because the drinks are free. Well a dollar for each drink for a tip to the cocktail waitress, but still. So that's what? $100-$150 bucks for the week. I think. I totally blacked out one night.) So, it was a very successful trip. Minus the wretched heart burn turned to vomiting that had me in bed half one morning.

An interesting moment happened the last night we were there. Jeff and I were down to our last $100 chip. The morning had not been going all that well. So we stop at the ATM and pay the ridiculous fee. Well, that turned out to be a little short sighted, because we took that one black chip and turned it into five. It was about an hour before we said we were going to bed but Jeff said, "As soon as we get to $500, we should color up no matter if we have beers on the way or not." Well, I'll be damned if not 20 minutes after that, some crazy splitting and doubling went on and were at $500. With beers on the way. Sometimes Vegas does give you signs, and that one was to go straight to the cashier and call it a successful trip.

And things are about to get busy again, what with the holidays and all, so maybe I'll return to normal programming next year.

I now interrupt this program

2011-12-05T13:48:00.001-05:00

Not that I've really been blogging all that much anyway, but Jeff and I have decided we want to go to Japan at some point in the next year so I ordered Rosetta Stone because I think it's disrespectful to go to a country without knowing at least a little of the language. (Except apparently Singapore where everyone knows English. Thanks, Anthony Bourdain.)

Trying to learn the Japanese characters and scripts is fairly annoying. It is considered the most difficult written language in the world. (Shit.) But apparently everyone in Japan can read Japanese words in Roman letters (Romanji) so that could be helpful.

So yeah, Rosetta Stone is cool. In just five hours I've learned a fair amount. I read reviews it's hard to follow, and if you have no concept of learning a foreign language, then it's probably not the route for you. But I do. So, screw those guys.

I did have a funny incident. A friend gave me some really old Japanese flash cards she found in her aunts closet from when the aunt was a missionary and they're so old the writing goes up and down (it was changed to reading it horizontally after WWII. I think.) which confused the ever loving shit out of me for a good hour.

When I get to the live online native speaker tutoring, I'll let you know how that goes.

Ever have one of those days?

2011-11-29T11:02:00.000-05:00

Dude, I try to be a go with the flow person. I really do. But car battery dead in the rain, snow coming, thought I sold a tutu but just a work at home scam and I'm craving fast food. I'm tempted to get back in my pajamas, order take out and drink wine all day. Screw being productive and helping the incarcerated. I may even watch a sad movie.

Ya know, after AAA gets here to fix my battery.

But wait, I don't have any pajamas.

Mad Cooking Skills

2011-11-28T14:57:00.000-05:00

I meant to take pictures because I was so damn proud of myself. But yeah, I forgot.

I made sweet potato souffle for the first time. Sweet potatoes, eggs, milk, butter, pecans, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and marshmallows made my Thanksgiving. (Since I slept way too late for the parade. Jeff and I played poker at friend's and then I decided I wanted to go to bar the night before)

I also made a turducken. I wasn't near as industrious as Linda.
I bought mine online fully assembled stuffed with crawfish etouffee. Four hours in the oven with a basting or two and it was quite the delicious bird(s). Moist too.

I simplified the biscuit predicament of mine never turning out the way I want by getting Jeff to go on a Popeyes run to get my favorite biscuits from there. Thanks, Popeyes, for being open on Thanksgiving.

And last night, I made ribs for the first time. My stepdad always made the ribs and they are really good and it irks me to no end when I can't cook something as good as someone else. (i.e. the procrastination in the souffle) Well, mine turned out pretty damn good.

Cooking success!!

Sore and not in the good way

2011-11-19T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess if you consider trying to improve my physical fitness, it could be considered good.

But holy hell, am I sore. I went to a personal trainer yesterday because my former NFL player neighbor recommended her. I figured if I was ever going to bother with a trainer, that's a good place to start.

My upper body is a little stiff. No biggie. My quads are on fire. Well, it's not too bad. Unless I need to sit down, stand up or use stairs. Then it's pretty goddamn bad. Who knew a boxes could be so evil?

I'm fairly proud of myself for toughing out an hour of working out, and not totally embarrassing myself. But ow.

On a wonderful note. Jeff is helping me so much so my getting up off the couch is as limited as I want.

The joke's on me though because my legs get even worse if I don't move every so often. So now I actually have to get on the elliptical to keep my legs from freezing up completely.

Hydrocodone abuse

2011-11-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

This new guy in the jail classroom has just left me befuddled. The things he gets confused on just blows my mind. I have to repeat things over and over and it's like he's hearing it for the first time. Every time. I mean, what the hell? Two other inmates and I had to repeat the word apostrophe five times and he still couldn't get it. He hasn't shown any signs of dyslexia, and maybe very little attention problems. I just figured he didn't know how to learn in a classroom setting.

Guess what I just found out. Narcotic abuse can cause severe hearing loss.

Well, shit.

A Thousand Words

2011-11-14T23:23:00.000-05:00

I do want to get back into blogging again, and a picture from the past is always a good way to start. And I feel like waxing rhapsodic about it.

A dill pickle was my first solid food, and I still love them. I've eaten whole jars before while knowingly I'll pay a serious price.

I wish we knew where that stool was. It was the perfect size for those of us who have unused top shelves.

My mom has on leg warmers. She has nice legs.

I'm holding a clock to a home game for "Double Dare." It was a game show on Nickelodeon.

That siphon is in a container of kerosene.

That top drawer was the junk drawer. I'm not sure if it was ever shut all the way.

There are two cats in this picture. We had at least 6. My guess for those two is that's the momma cat up front. Her name was Catfish and her son in the back was named Ralph. A neighbor's dog killed Ralph and then Moma killed the dog with a Kennedy bullet. She shot up into the woods to scare the dog off our property and the dog had multiple wounds. With a single shot .22. It was the damnedest thing. (Have I mentioned I grew up in the boonies?)

Embedding disabled be request.

2011-11-07T00:13:00.000-05:00

This is me teaching vowel sounds.

Okay, vowels are really important. What are the vowels? A, E, I, O, U. Good. They're like the glue that puts words together.

And this is how the rest goes.

Blah, long vowels, sound like, blah blah, the actual letter, blah, blah, blah.

And please, if you've had experience with explaining vowels for the love that is good and holy please find this blog and teach me how.

Acting all faggy

2011-11-05T12:37:00.000-04:00

A I know more about the crayzees than you do

2011-11-02T11:25:00.000-04:00

When you hear someone make a statement about mental illness that is just wrong, do you ever pipe in?

I heard someone say a woman was a classic narcissist and I said that was strange, and she told me I'd be surprised. Um, no I wouldn't, because it's really rare for a woman to suffer from narcissism. Especially in the classic form. Naturally, I didn't school her on Ab Psych, but then I heard another woman go off about her bipolar sister-in-law.All of this in a span of 20 minutes. I left the room.

I hate hearing mental illness myths being perpetuated.

I'd like to be able to say I'm bipolar without the assumptions I use it as an excuse to act like a total irresponsible, irrational bitch all the time.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T10:24:00.000-04:00

Since Halloween is here, I feel like I can share the Christmas tutu I finished this weekend.

Finished product hanging over our fireplace.

And it's reversible! It's actually two separate tutus wound together with satin ribbon. I'm pretty proud of this one. Not gonna lie.

I do like fall

2011-10-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

Well, minus allergies. But aren't they cute?

I don't learn

2011-10-27T12:09:00.000-04:00

So my knee and head have healed from my drunken debauchery a couple of weeks ago. But last weekend Jeff and I decided to take advantage of the last of the nice weather by sitting outside and smoking cigars and drinking. It's something we always enjoy. Some nice undistracted conversation time. But cigars can leave a funky taste in your mouth. I woke up in the middle of the night with a nasty dry mouth. So I stumbled and brushed my teeth thoroughly, and while I was at it I brushed over my gums. Apparently I got a little carried away. But no big deal, my gums were a little sore the next day.

Um, but a few days later, a feeling I remembered from long ago started in my mouth. That nasty rubbing feeling you get with braces. Then that rubbing feeling turns into downright pain from that blasted metal assaulting your mouth. And you get these canker sores type things. (did you have braces? I did for over three years. It sucked donkey.)

Yep, that's right. I have sores in my mouth from drunkenly brushing my teeth.

I don't learn.

Ice balls

2011-10-24T09:45:00.000-04:00

What could this post be about? Ice balls. That's right. One inch balls are the best thing about ice since well, ice.

I bought these bad boy at Macy's. If you drink liquor. You want these. Your drink gets super cold, stay cold without getting watered down and they're just fun.

You can even put fruit in with the water so you have a refreshing and attractive addition to your vodka.

After two months of every day use, one has a leak somewhere, but that's the only complaint I have. And if you do buy some, you should let them sit out a few minutes before you try and remove the ice from the balls. It's easier than warm water.

Tutu's at cost

2011-10-22T10:36:00.001-04:00

Here's the thing. This whole tutu business came about because I made one and I enjoyed doing it. So I figured, why not take it a step farther. But now I realize I could use some positive feedback on Liz's Tutu Parlor.

(Yes, it's all I'm thinking about these days.)

So I've got an infomercial type proposition for y'all. If you'd want one of my tulle creations, I'll make you one at cost. Just materials and actual shipping. You pick the colors and materials and style and I'll send one out to you. I'd love to make all sizes, I've just been starting small. So hit me up, yo.

Newest creation.

I will add, I watched "Scream" before I went to bed last night and my worst dream was about going to church. Oh! I bet that's because the high schools Jeff and I attended were on ESPNU playing football. (His school lost.)

Have a great weekend!!!

Puppy Tutu, Part II

2011-10-21T14:43:00.001-04:00

I'm on a roll. I now have two listings in my Etsy shop, Liz's Tutu Parlor.

Bella was just thrilled to participate.

So sleepy, Part II

2011-10-20T11:14:00.000-04:00

Night before last I slept like I haven't slept in months. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. I volunteered at the Indy Reads office yesterday like crazy. And I'm nice and tired by 10pm. I thought, "This is great; I didn't nap so I should fall right to sleep like I did last night." Wrong. Tossed and turned and had crazy dreams about my upcoming jury duty. Think they'll excuse me since I work with the incarcerated?

I still woke up with Jeff this morning. Awesome. I've ever accomplished a few things. Well, one was going to pick up my coat out of storage so that's more like the silver lining of cold weather. But goddammit. Now I want a nap.

So Mike, disregard everything I said in my comment earlier. I'm sorely tempted to take a nap and I haven't been sneezing today and I took my B vitamins. So I guess we get to be tired together.

Shit.

Liz's Tutu Parlor

2011-10-18T09:13:00.005-04:00

My etsy shop (Liz's Tutu Parlor) is up and running. Okay, well running may be a little bit of an overstatement. It's taking a stroll while I sit here and figure out what in the world I'm doing.

I may be a little MIA a little longer. I'm trying to get some more tutus made and figure out shop policies, payment options and all that jazz.

But I figure by the time the first frost comes which will help my allergies considerably, I should have the big things squared away. My first item for sale it actually a tulle dog collar.

They look thrilled, don't they?

And I know the photography should be much, much better, but do you know how difficult it is to photograph two unhappy dogs in natural light? And if try to fix their eyes, they look even weirder.

Side note: If your nose looks like rudolph's and sore as crap, try hydrocortisone cream. Vasoline helped, hydrocortisone felt beyond good.

My bad

2011-10-17T08:33:00.001-04:00

I know I haven't responded to some comments in the past few days and I'm sorry. I had a drunken fall (I know, I know. I'm too old for that kind of shit.) Friday night and my head has been pounding off and on all weekend. Regularly scheduled programming will resume shortly.

Last night update

2011-10-15T16:00:00.001-04:00

Seriously let me know if this is too annoying to watch for however long. Okay, typing done.

Vlog bandwagon

2011-10-14T12:15:00.001-04:00

Erin did a blog post and I thought it was cute, so here we go. I'm sorry the sound is kinda of scratchy, I forgot to test the microphone first and it's too loud, but I'm too lazy to do it again. And the web cam is pretty crappy anyway.

Enjoy!

ABC Homework

2011-10-13T15:02:00.001-04:00

Volunteer update. Parolee finally agreed to do homework after some insistence. I have to treat this man like a child which I hate, but oh well.

I have yet to effectively explain the difference between long and short vowels. I wish I knew what I wasn't saying.

Another student in jail, I'll call Reverend because he brings his Bible to most sessions, can't see the difference between a lower case D and a lower case B. I'm not explaining that one very well either.

I think Guns is about to have a real reading breakthrough. He's so close to being able to just see the words. It's fascinating like in The Shawshank Redemption, he's finding brains he didn't know he had.

These men have been told all their lives they're stupid. And watching them see improvement in themselves is pretty cool. (Okay, Parolee may be a little on the dumb side.)

And the best part of tutoring the guys in jail who are too low to work with the rest of the class? I get to completely avoid this other volunteer who drives me absolutely nuts. And I know. I can control if I get irritated or not, but this woman just won't shut the hell up for five fucking minutes. She repeats herself and always has a story better than yours and is so loud and says incredibly inappropriate things in front of the inmates and then she gets all sorts of offended when one inmate relayed a slightly violent altercation with his bitch when he was asked to write an essay. I mean, really?

But there are definitely fun times with Indy Reads. I've been helping out in the office and they gave me a thank you card with a gift card to Half Price Books. I really appreciated it and reminded me how important thank you cards are.

So sleepy

2011-10-10T10:22:00.000-04:00

So I've been sleepy lately. Literally, just falling asleep on the couch twice a day and sleeping at night without taking anything. Um, what is that about? The last time I was randomly falling asleep was seven years ago, but I was poor and living off ramen and chicken and stars soup. Now I eat red meat, take a multivitamin and have nice pink nail beds so I seriously doubt anemia is my problem this time.

Depression would be the obvious culprit. But I swear I don't feel depressed. I've showered, painted my nails, cooked, socialized and even cleaned in the last 48 hours. I don't do any of that when I'm depressed. Like at all.

Yet the urge to lie down was so strong yesterday I forgot the main ingredient in something I've made 20 times. Still turned out well, but weird. I've been awake an hour. Could still lie back down.

But seriously. This can't be good. I'm a grown-up who should be able to stay awake throughout the day. When do I go see my primary care doc?

My sinuses are making my teeth hurt.

2011-10-08T17:10:00.000-04:00

I've had some shit going on in my face. Puffs (actually P&G) are going to have boosted earnings this quarter because of this past week. Boxes and boxes of tissues. And I use handkerchiefs. (I know, CG. You think they're disgusting. But so is what's coming out of my nose.) And I can feel the roots of my teeth and it fucking sucks.

So I've been too drugged out to blog much. Here's an update.

I got to be psyched about my nails. The strips did last a week and after taking a 45 minute bath peeled right off. And I swear my nails look better than they did a week ago.

I skipped tutoring Parolee this week because the thought of going over vowels again with a sinus headache was just more than I could deal with. I never want to lose my patience with these guys, and I was gonna.

Panera's pumpkin spice latte is better than Starbuck's. Their cinnamon crunch bagels are still excellent.

Now Jeff and I have both scratched the new car. One on each side. Awesome.

I realized lying in bed the other night my med combo of Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Klonopin is making me and my mood feel better than I ever have. Ever.

Etsy?

2011-10-04T00:06:00.002-04:00

Do any of y'all Etsy?

Can I blog that?

2011-10-01T22:32:00.001-04:00

"I'll be more than happy to buy you a $250 corset after I buy you some $5,000 titties."

If this lasts a week, I will be psyched.

2011-09-29T16:50:00.002-04:00

I have an Indy Reads banquet tonight, so I thought I could do my nails. And I remembered I had bought these strips awhile back.

Sally Hansen has a new product out called Salon Effects nail polish strips. Here's my first attempt. And I think they look pretty damn cool. Especially considering I still have some post-acrylics roughness going on.

How awesome would these be if you went to Alabama? I would have lady football Saturday jizzed.

The box says they last up to ten days. I'll keep you updated.

Dove Promises

2011-09-26T22:04:00.001-04:00

Chocolate therapy is, "Oh, so good."

I recently heard someone also say food makes her feel loved. It's not chocolate therapy that she needs.

You know what doesn't make me feel loved? When I have to patch the inner thighs of my jeans.

Maybe I should work with blind kids.

2011-09-23T16:15:00.000-04:00

Awhile back, Linda had a really funny post about her husband mentioning a quote in the movie Scarface. Well today, I feel like Michelle Pfieffer in Scarface. I woke up with a slight hangover and didn't move off the couch. Jeff brought me lunch, we had a roll in the hay and then I slept for over two hours.

That is one unproductive day.

Maybe if I had a mountain of coke I could manage something to leave the couch. But I don't. So I'm not.

Laser hair removal

2011-09-22T11:05:00.000-04:00

Any experiences? I'm considering it.

And the juxtaposition

2011-09-21T14:56:00.002-04:00

I ask Parolee to at least practice writing his alphabet at home and he refused. But he did have plenty of job applications he hoped I could "help him fill out."

Oy.

For selfish reasons

2011-09-20T18:13:00.002-04:00

I have been working with an inmate for a couple of weeks. Let's call him Guns. (Dude obviously works out.) He assessed below a first grade level. He has trouble writing his alphabet. But today. Today, he was doing a crossword with almost no help from me. It was so rewarding because he looked at me and asked me "I'm really doing better!?" Yes, you really are.

And it got better. Another gentleman was assessed to be at a primer level and Guns encouraged him by showing him his improvements. And new guy's expression changed from, wow that assessment sucked donkey to just maybe, maybe.

Dove Promises

2011-09-12T20:32:00.002-04:00

"Ignite your sense of adventure."

Anal?

Dove Promises

2011-09-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

"Stir your sense of pleasure."

Here's the thing. There's only one sense of pleasure I'm really concerned about. And it doesn't have one goddamn thing to do with chocolate.

Really comfortable

2011-09-07T19:12:00.001-04:00

Either Paris was really uncomfortable or really, really comfortable when I took this. I'm not sure.

And yes, some people are so pale they glow. I don't wear shorts.

Drunk Downloading

2011-09-06T15:50:00.000-04:00

Your Amazon.com Order (D01-9958786-43718

Sat, Sep 3, 2011 at 2:19 AM Most of you probably know you can download anything to a Kindle any time you want. Apparently, the mood struck at 2:19am when I was completely hammered. What important thing did I buy that I just had to read right then? Bedtime Erotica [Kindle Edition]$2.99 Sold By: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Lord have mercy. I had no memory of downloading this classy tale until I checked my email the next morning.

Dove Promises

2011-09-01T22:54:00.000-04:00

"You make everything lovely."

The only time I can even begin to imagine where that situation applies is when you've fallen too hard for someone and they could be spouting racial bigotry and it sounds like sunshine and rainbows because your brain has been overtaken by the in love neurotransmitters.

P.S. To those of y'all using blogger, do you like the new layout?

Some ten years later

2011-09-01T10:25:00.001-04:00

Aren't my little fat thighs cute? But what am I wearing? It looks like a baby moomoo.

Lovin the 70's

2011-08-31T10:41:00.000-04:00

These are my parents. Aren't they cute?

There are her parents. My grandparents. I think they're cute, too.

Random Pictures

2011-08-29T14:22:00.000-04:00

I bought a printer scanner copier so I'm going to be sharing some photos with you.

This is a picture of my sister, her husband and me. After they married, Sean decided to go be a smarty pants and get his doctorate from Berkeley. So here we are on a beach in Northern California. I'm not wearing any shoes because I wanted to stick my feet in the Pacific Ocean just to say I had. I did not take into account it was a very rocky beach. Either way, it was a good day.

Side note. I still wear that white shirt under my Indy Reads tshirt to jail because it has extra long sleeves. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that on me anymore. At all.

Buying a house

2011-08-26T13:37:00.001-04:00

Owning your own home is the American dream. And I'm all about that if it's actually a house within 25% of your income.

Back story: When my mom got together with then soon to be stepdad, we moved several times. It started with fixing up my childhood home to sell. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled that summer. At all. Okay, fine. I could have been J.D. Salinger's next novel. Next came stepdad's house. Naturally, this one didn't bother me nearly as much except then we had to have a yard sale to consolidate two adult's stuff. Aka, our stuff. We searched for houses for a good year. Open houses every Sunday, blah, blah, blah. I hate the real estate business. A lot. Eventually, we found a house to live in as one big happy family. Eventually, my parents had to declare bankruptcy and we had to figure out what in the hell to do with 4,000 sq. feet of stuff. The summer my sister was getting married. Shit.

Now since Jeff's company has fantastic relocation programs and everyone needs paper, the drama of moving is significantly less. I'm still reticent to buy a house while in Indy. We will most certainly move again. I loath open houses. But we pay a lot in rent. But I love this apartment. But the money could be going into equity. But I love having maintenance at the drop of a hat.

Obviously, you don't buy a house until you're absolutely sure you're ready to be on the hook for 15 years, but why does it all seem so complicated?

Dove Promises

2011-08-19T00:37:00.003-04:00

"Indulge in dark"

So many fat white girl jokes, so little time.

Dove Promises

2011-08-18T06:38:00.000-04:00

"Chocolate won't let you down."

Yes, but it will weigh your thighs down when you grow huge saddlebags even Spanx can't contain.

Playboy - September 2011

2011-08-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

"The feminist movement is often clouded by Gloria Steinem's perspective, but to deny women their sexuality is just as chauvinistic"

- Amber Heard
Star of the new show, "The Playboy Club"

Fun and really fucking tiring day.

2011-08-14T13:59:00.000-04:00

I knew we had an appointment at the car dealership on Saturday morning. Did that stop me from staying up and getting drunk until 3am? Of course not. Either way, we made it through the four to five hour experience at the dealership to purchase the new addition to our Nissan Family.

The Titan has been tried and true. She's got 7 years and 130k miles, but she's keepin on truckin. She'll now be my main vehicle for my oh, so important errands. Now that amazingly shiny Murano beauty over there has no years and 25 miles. We're pretty excited. And that has nothing to do with 0% interest rate.

Now what kept me up that late even though I knew I'd be signing papers for an hour next day? DCI world championships. I realize y'all have no idea what that is. It's Drum Corps International.
I was in band in high school and still have a bit of band nerd inside. The talent and dedication these young people have is absolutely amazing to me. This was my fave show.

Because of the lack of recording devices allowed in the competitions, this isn't a great example, but you get the idea. There's no real colorguard work, which is what I marched. But yeah, goosebumps.

Comments

2011-08-14T12:00:00.002-04:00

I have no idea where they are right now. I'll look into it when i wake up.

Woo Hoo, Award Time!!

2011-08-12T14:30:00.000-04:00

The oh so delightful Madge over at I-Madge-ine the Twaddle has given me an award, to which I am flattered. Blogging is such a fun and a lot of times very useful tool to relating to otherwise unknown people and lifestyles, I have a feeling I'll always do it. Anyway, down to business.

1.Thank the giver and link back to them.

Madge is hilarious and says things I don't have the nuts to say. Which is saying something. Thanks, Madge!!

2. Reveal your 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. The rule says I am supposed to pick blogs that have less than 200 followers.

4. Copy and paste award to your blog.
5. Have faith that your followers will pass the love to other bloggers.

Mike over at Too Many Mornings is just wonderfully cynical. He has long blog posts (yet thoughtful) and I still read every word. And I don't do that.

Linda over at The Good, the Bad, the Worse makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. She's my friend across the country. And she understands what it's like to have a husband away for work. But she gets this award just in the nick of time because she's at 190 followers. Even still, she lovingly replies to each comment.

Cardiogirl over at Cardiogirl: 19% Body Fat, 100% fun. Even if she's in better shape than I've ever contemplated, she never fails to inspire comments. She'll be back as soon as her precious rugrats are back in school.

Afton is a little more serious over at Nod if you Hear Me. But mental illness is still a big part of my life (expensive at the very least) even if I'm fairly stable. And she has the sweetest and most compassionate comments and the best blog buddy you could ever ask for.

And Kage at Sex, Sequins + Sociopaths because she has some seriously hot jahoobies. And she cracks me up. And I think living in Calgary is cool. And she understands the need for a little levity in life. Oh, and her tattoos are totally hot.

So share the love. It's good for you.

Dove Promises

2011-08-11T13:30:00.000-04:00

"Forget the rules and play by your heart."

I think I'll disregard this piece of chocolate wisdom considering I volunteer with convicts twice a week.

And have had enough shitty relationships to last anyone a lifetime.

Dove Promises

2011-08-09T20:59:00.000-04:00

The other day during a hormonal swing, I asked Jeff to bring me home a bag of Dove Promises. They are delicious. If you've never had one, I'll let you know each wrapper has a little saying inside that could make any girl feel better about stuffing her face with calorie ridden excess. I'm going to start sharing them with you because I find these little saying pretty ridiculous.

"Remember the simple pleasures in life."

Lord have mercy. Just eat the chocolate and quit giving yourself reasons to have another one.

Your thigh looks horrible.

2011-08-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

Under almost all circumstances, the above statement would garner a less than pleasant reaction from me. Unfortunately, it was true.

I've been at my mother's. Who lives in the middle of the woods. Seriously. A mile straight up a mountain with gravel roads. Which can be fun and can also suck donkey balls depending on your vehicle. Anyway. I purchased a plane ticket for my niece so she could come visit from Louisiana for her high school graduation present.

The first night I arrived and we all sat on the porch and got rip roaring drunk. Moma had forgotten she had some bug repellant so I got covered in bites. Damn misquitos. The night was worth it. We had a ball, but oh how I itched. So Moma commenced to rub me down with calomine fourteen times. Not that Jeff wouldn't, but mommas are better at that sort of thing.

Then, later in the week we visited where my dad works. It's a children's science museum of sorts called Wonderworks. It's a very cool place. They have this ride called 360 bikes. Y'all, I ride these every time I'm there. I just love them. You have to pedal while it's going forward to make the bike keep going over the bar. And if you don't, you will hang there. Here's a picture off their website.

They also have a roller coaster simulator there's pretty damn realistic. Also lots of fun. When's it's upside down you can see your hair in the projector screen.

But my new favorite part is this ropes course that goes up at least three stories. Which is awesome except it's hot as balls at the top. And at certain points you're supporting your weight just by your harness which wraps very unattractively around your rear end. Which apparently left some lovely bruises on the backs of my thighs. But it was absolutely exhilariting.

It was all well worth horrible looking thighs.

Convicts and Parolees

2011-07-28T13:24:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't been blogging lately, but this is actually important to me so I'd love y'alls feedback.

I've added a new aspect to my volunteer work. As you probably know, I go once a week to one of the jails here in town and help inmates improve their reading and comprehension. I haven't found it very rewarding lately, but we're starting a new curriculum that will help us measure their progress to aid in our funding. Before I felt more like a babysitter. One downer is we had to "graduate" the inmates out of the class who were above a six grade reading level even though typically their writing was absolutely atrocious. I miss consistent use of punctuation. Well, I guess I answered my own doubts. I'll definitely be sticking with this for awhile. Now I just wish for a little cooler weather so I'm not feeling like I'm having a heat stroke wearing long sleeves, pants and tennis shoes in this lovely 95 degree weather.

The past couple of weeks I've been going to a new program called Re-entry Court. It's a 20 hour program ordered by a judge, typically for guys without a high school diploma or GED. The major bummer about this one is I have to drive all the way downtown and pay $5 to park. Paying to donate my time is not how I like to do things. Now the cool part about this is sometimes I get to see some of the guys I worked with in the jail now that they're out. (And not sent to prison.)

I've only agreed to do this temporarily because a tutor was needed for a student who can hardly read at all and needs one on one attention. Now, this is challenging for me. Do I enjoy it? Most of the time. Do I think I'm even making the smallest positive difference in his life? Possibly. I get fairly frustrated at our sessions. We're having a big problem with sounding out the letter U. And hearing the differences between vowels. Still haven't worked through then and than. He's literally not hearing me. But what I wonder the most, am I really up to the challenge?

Oh, and those of you who use reading glasses, when did you start to need them and are the cheap ones really any different?

Big Bad Scraps

2011-07-18T21:57:00.000-04:00

Normally when I don't feel like blogging I'm edging on depression, but I'm actually feeling pretty damn good mentally. I don't really know what to do with myself sometimes. Anyway. I went all paparazzi on my weird looking dog today. She is more cooperative. For y'alls' enjoyment, I present my weird dog Scraps/Paris.

My what huge ears I have.

My what a huge underbite my teeth have.

Can you tell she totally loves this? Okay, maybe not. But it amuses me.

And last but not least,

My what buggy eyes I have.

Holy hell!

2011-07-11T17:08:00.000-04:00

Was my response to USA's win over Brazil.

Now it's from walking outside. It's hotter here in Indiana where I woke up this winter to a temperature of -1 degrees than the current temperature in South Georgia.

The heat index is 112.

I took my dogs out to walk to the trash compactor and they started making hacking sounds.

I started sweating folding clothes.

My AC hasn't cut off all day. And it's not a quiet appliance.

The state has made national news.

The windows are fogged up. My living room windows.

The dog poop bag stuck to my hand this morning. Do you know how bad a way that is to start the day?

I considered not wearing long sleeves to jail tomorrow. (Don't worry, I'm just going to change in the lobby bathroom.)

I thought my dog peed on the carpet. No, it's just where my water bottle had been sitting.

I am not amused.

Okay, I know this is weird.

2011-07-08T21:10:00.002-04:00

So I was having a conversation with one of my co-volunteers the other day and she mentioned she really started to feel like a grown woman when she was 25 even though she had been married several years at that point. I can also relate to the sentiment. At this stage in my life, I'm fairly certain how to handle life situations and what may be to come.

So anyway, to the weird part.

Can any of y'all recommend a type of coaster?

Yes, like drink coasters. I've just never had any and I'm not sure what kind to buy. That aren't tacky. Or cheap looking.

Oh, and I just bought pillows from Sheraton hotels. I'll definitely let y'all know. They were totally awesome in Dallas and I'll be totally psyched if they're the same.

Not much

2011-07-07T15:43:00.000-04:00

It seems most of us are taking a bit of a summer blogging break. It is the dog days of summer after all.

I really don't have a whole lot to say. After our travels, Jeff and I have mostly been chilling at home. And that whole cold and cough thing. (Which still won't go away.)

I did go see my psychiatrist today and he doesn't need to see me again for six months. Isn't that amazing? I think it's amazing. Now let's just see if I make it that long. He also went into how I need to keep resting so my lungs can heal because it takes several weeks. Thank you, Dr. Obvious. He really is a nice doctor.

A philosophical cold

2011-06-29T13:17:00.001-04:00

(Post edit three hours later: I really, really want a nap.)

I woke up feeling so much better today. I knew I was feeling better because I had a full dinner last night and had a little trouble going to sleep. I then slept a full 10 hours of sleep with no serious coughing. Ahhh. I'm a new woman. Okay, not exactly. I'm still congested, but still.

For the first time in months, I did some yoga this morning. I woke up stiff as a board and the thought of some deep breaths just felt so appealing. And though I only did 10 minutes and I had a serious coughing fit afterward, it did feel really good.

Why am I feeling all inward and such? Because I had been taking my physical health for granted. I've been so focused on my mental instabilities for years, I just let the physical blessings float on by. A few days ago, Jeff asked me if he should be worried about me as I crawled into bed for the umpteenth time, and it was almost funny because it looked like the same behavior I exhibit when I'm depressed. No, this was a Nyquil illness, not an anti-psycotic illness.

And then I wake up today. With some energy, some life and the ability to take a deep breath. I'm feeling very kind towards the world.

Bigger Big Fat Baby

2011-06-27T09:52:00.000-04:00

I officially have a cold. Fever and now my nose is stuffy and my back hurts and I'm still taking two naps a day. Though Jeff joined me for one yesterday, so that was a perk. I had a popsicle for breakfast and now I'm going back to sleep. Uncool immune system. Uncool.

My current favorite food.

Big Fat Baby

2011-06-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

That's me.

Well and my niece. But it's cute on her. Seriously, she's in a front facing car seat already.

Why am I? Because I have bronchitis and it sucks. And my throat hurts. And all I want to do is whine and take naps. Seriously. I've taken two naps today. I'm not accustomed to my lower respiratory system betraying me. It only happened during finals. I'm used to sinus nastiness. And then I realized I've been on six planes, four hotels and rental cars in the last six weeks. Plenty of places to pick up nastiness. Oh and it wore me slap out.

I'm trying to load up on fluids, but I am so sick of water and hot tea. I've got this gross metallic taste in my mouth. Why is that?

Oh, and Robitussin tastes horrible. And Nyquil tastes like Jager Bombs. I hate Jager bombs. So I've switched to Mexican food and whiskey.

I'm a big fat baby.

Delta

2011-06-21T00:13:00.000-04:00

We've been seriously friends with Delta lately. But I really do plan on getting back on the comments and actual real posts soon. Unfortunately, the pictures won't be as much fun. Because there aren't any. But I really am going to, yeah. You know.

Oh, and I get to pick up my luggage at the airport tomorrow. Yep, tomorrow.

Where have I been? Part II

2011-06-15T13:44:00.000-04:00

Where have I been?

2011-06-13T14:55:00.000-04:00

Take a guess.

Fun Tuesday

2011-06-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching, "The Ugly Truth." It's been on the DVR forever because I figured it would be terrible, but it really was a very cute romantic comedy. Well that, and Gerard Butler is oh so dreamy. Though not dreamy enough to carry this festering turd of a movie.

And the credits play to this song which made me feel like getting up and dance. (Yes, because no one was watching.)

I hope everyone is having a great day. I'm going to the pool later. Fun Tuesday!!

It will destroy your mouth

2011-06-04T12:46:00.000-04:00

Okay, so here's the thing. I'm always looking for a new and exciting way to lose weight. I've found one. Seriously!

Scald your mouth with chicken noodle soup. Or a Hot Pocket. Forget mindless eating. You'll analyze every bite. Is that french fry worthy of the chance it will feel like an ice pick shooting into your sinuses. Probably not. You love Doritos? Knock yourself out if you also love rubbing the roof of your mouth with sandpaper.

I feel like an idiot because I ate soup out of the pan. No, I didn't feel like pouring it in a bowl. I'm not coherent in the morning. And yes, I like soup for breakfast. Bypassing the bowl somehow led me to pocket of lava broth so hot I spit out all over the ottoman and the floor.

Yes, I realize ice cream is the obvious solution to this problem. And yes, I had a cup of soft serve at the ball park last night for dinner.

Did I mention I feel like an idiot? A hungry one.

Best physical ever

2011-05-27T13:53:00.000-04:00

No, not because naughty nurse was there to take my blood pressure. But because for the first time in 11 years, I got to stay fully clothed.

Getting older is getting better all the time.

Okay, so I'm a sucker.

2011-05-26T14:27:00.000-04:00

Well, remember when I rudely asked a man if he was selling magazines? I may have atoned myself a bit. A young man came to my door this afernoon selling magazines. And sure enough. I bought an expensive subscription. I didn't really see any I liked (we only subscribe to magazines that come in plastic sleeves), so then I had them donated to the jail where I volunteer.

The young man was extraordinarily polite (He was also from North Carolina, like the man in the bar.) and seemed genuine in his claims for using the prize money for tuition. And I admired his fortitude getting out in this nasty weather. He saw our diplomas on the mantle and admired them quietly. His entire demeanor just warmed my heart. I sincerely hope he and all people who want an education finds the way. Because I truly believe, there is always a way for a formal education.

It's a good thing Oprah is over because she just turns my heart to absolute mush. And it's slightly annoying.

Brilliant in its' simplicity

2011-05-06T12:47:00.000-04:00

Pioneer Woman and I are tight when it comes to recipes. I don't think I've tried any of her recipes I really don't like. This one was worked straight out of the gate.

I was feeling pasta-y today, and I happened to have cream in the fridge so I made this Tomato Cream Sauce for lunch. Jeff and I thought it was great.

Okay one, tomatoes, onions, garlic and red pepper flakes are meant to be together. Two add cream and cheese and it was just lovely. Light, but substantial. And if it reheats well I may start making this stuff by the gallon.

It's not the first time someone has bought us a drink

2011-05-04T12:02:00.000-04:00

It's not a secret we're barflies. And every once in awhile someone will offer to buy us a round. Though it's typically after we talked to said drink buyer.

Side note: Jeff is a gentleman and very courteous in certain gestures. He opens all my doors. Yes, even my car door. He helps me with my coat and he makes sure I'm comfortable before he sits down. He puts the bags in the car and carries my 70lb suitcase (Yes, a week in Vegas requires 70 pounds.) while I carry his 25lb suitcase. These are things we don't think about anymore.

Now that I've said that, I'll tell you what happened. We're sitting at a bar watching a baseball game and this guy comes up behind us and just starts talking. He's holding magazines, and unfortunately I was not very courteous. I just asked him what he was selling. Turns out he's from North Carolina and then he just let us know he thought it was nice to see a man being so chivalrous and he had bought our first round for us. From across the bar. We shook hands and he left. It was bizarre. Cool. But bizarre.

For Free!!

So then we had two more.

Another baby laughing

2011-05-03T16:23:00.000-04:00

It's just so damn cute.

Product time

2011-05-02T16:19:00.000-04:00

So Chase is trying to be cute or hip or something because I recently received this as my new card in the mail. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? The very least of the issue being it wouldn't face the same as the other Visa in my wallet.

On a much cooler product note, I bought a french manicure set and used it pretty effectively. I think it's a pretty good first attempt. Way to go, Sally Hansen!

Disqus II

2011-05-01T15:47:00.000-04:00

I haven't been blogging much. Not entirely sure why. But since there has been a lag here at Seriously, I figured this was a good time to start using Disqus.

Mike's a complainer

2011-04-27T11:14:00.000-04:00

But he's getting what he wants. A post. From me.

I want a basset hound. Seriously, but they need room and freedom from ever present neighbors so they can howl their little hearts content. And run.

Baha! If you need a smile go look at 50 basset hounds running.

Cascade update

2011-04-19T14:11:00.000-04:00

I hate complainers, but there's a reason people do it. Because I called P&G to complain I've received a few things in the mail today. A 16 pack of those little gel packs. And several other coupons. One for any Cascade product, and one for a box of Puff's tissue scented like Vicks. So while it still sucks my dishes are covered in white film, they did at least try to rectify the situation. And promptly. So that's something.

I'm not gonna want lobster for awhile.

2011-04-18T13:44:00.000-04:00

A restaurant (Eddie Merlot's) here in town has been having an all you can eat lobster night every Friday during Lent. I had 4 1/2 lobsters for $40. It was awesome!! Jeff and I had so much fun getting lobster shells everywhere. We ate for two hours. The service was mediocre, but whatever. I had 9 lobster claws.

Saturday, we went to see Scream 4 and I really, really enjoyed it.

Scream was the first rated R movie I saw in the theaters. I felt very cool. This one isn't as good as the first naturally. But it's still very, very entertaining. I'm glad we went. And I did not guess the killer.

Boo Cascade Extra Action with Dawn

2011-04-13T15:31:00.000-04:00

I bought a big old box of dishwashing detergent. We have hard water so I thought I would try a new detergent. I had been buying the Sam's Club brand. I figured, hell, it has a Good Housekeeping seal on it, which has never let me down before. I'll go ahead and buy the brand name 11 pound box.

That was stupid. These are my "sparkling dishes."

That film is all kinds of stuck on there. I mean really. As in, I used my awesome expensive Finish Quantamatic detergent, and it didn't budge that film. Not one bit. And no I didn't keep the receipt. And yes I am going to try vinegar.

I went to jail today

2011-04-12T16:23:00.002-04:00

No, seriously. I did. As a tutor. And it was fun.

Not nearly as terrible

2011-04-08T16:10:00.000-04:00

I mentioned earlier we had a free movie channel preview the other week, so I went through and set anything we might want to watch to record. I ran across "You Kill Me." Our expectations weren't high. But it was about an alcoholic hit man, so I figured it was worth a try.

It really was entertaining in a dark humor sort of way. If you don't have anything else to watch, I'd recommend it.

Puppycide

2011-04-06T15:42:00.000-04:00

This dog is driving me batty today.

My crazies.

2011-04-04T15:39:00.000-04:00

I haven't talked about my crazies in awhile. I have a pdoc appt coming up so I try to get my thoughts in order so I can express what's going on when I get in the office. Because more than once, my doctor asks, "How have things been going?" and then my mind just goes blank. Or break down in tears.

And things have been fine. Not great, sometimes good, but mostly just okay. I can't seem to find a Wellbutrin dosage that gives me energy while also letting me sleep at night without knocking myself out with benzos. Or booze. And I'd rather err on the side of depression than mania. Mania is more dangerous. I've been waking up covered in sweat about once a week and that sucks donkey balls. Like the sheets are damp. And I don't sweat.

Four months ago I went on risperidone and it was lovely, but I gained 15 lbs faster than I thought humanly possible. And I'm just now starting to be able to tolerate the idea of losing the weight. I just don't know. I wonder what he is going to say. I've been on Wellbutrin and Lamictal for two years now and always adjusting something. It's just weird.

Madge was curious

2011-04-03T13:51:00.000-04:00

First session of getting my last tattoo. Above took a little bit over two hours.

I've got one of the finished product somewhere. I'll dig it out.

I know it sounds ridiculous

2011-04-02T04:52:00.000-04:00

But I'm 26; I have neck wrinkles. And if I lost the weight I could have this problem fixed and not worry about it again. I think..

Why do we work out again? Because I have always hated it.

But damn. Deep wrinkles. In my 20's. Reckoning.

Disqus

2011-04-01T18:54:00.000-04:00

Madge has suggested I use Disqus. The idea never really occurred to me. I don't put a whole lot of thought into the layout of this blog. I just tried it and it seems I'll lose all my comments. Which would be sad. I guess. What do y'all think?

On Demand

2011-04-01T16:07:00.000-04:00

Uverse has a free weekend of Showtime and Starz. So I have gone through and have any movies we would to see set to record. Which are few and far between. The movies on these channels blow.

But, the free preview also includes On Demand, so that means we get to watch the last season of Dexter. Sweet. So yeah, that's what we'll be doing tonight.

And baseball has finally started!!! So there's that. The Braves are going far this year. I just know it. And the baseball computer is updated and ready to go.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

I hate Macaroni Grill

2011-03-30T13:08:00.000-04:00

The other day, Jeff was out of town and I was craving Italian. Well, Carrabba's is on the other side of town so I thought I'd give Macaroni Grill a go. I hadn't been in years. Maybe they've gotten better. They haven't. At all!

The service was mediocre at best. I got the lamb. $16.99 for four tiny little pieces of lamb. And when the server didn't ask me how I wanted it cooked, I should have known there wouldn't be any pink in sight. Much less red. It said rosemary skewered. Um, no. There was a twig of rosemary stuck in my horribly bland pasta. I did have a side of asparagus that was pretty good. But I haven't felt that ripped off in a really long time. Just a miserable dining experience.

On the other hand. I'm lunching on Popeye's leftovers and they are delicious. While their sides aren't so awesome, you can't ask much more from their chicken and biscuits. Even the next day I love these biscuits.

Sell, sell, sell

2011-03-29T16:47:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since we've had a chat post.

J:
Wall street loves them some dividends

E:
Who doesn't?

J:
Poor people?

E:
Excellent point
Can I quote you on that?

J:
Sure

J:
Of course, the sad thing is that some people who aren't poor at all also have no idea what they are.

Isn't he just that and a bag of chips?

Helen Thomas is pissed

2011-03-24T17:36:00.000-04:00

I'm just now reading the Helen Thomas interview in Playboy. It's good stuff.

Also goes to show you can be old as dirt and still not get to say what you want. Kind of a bummer. This lady has has had a really cool life. Seen everything and then they still fired her. From the interview:

"I stayed at Andrews and waited there until Air Force One came in with the body. I saw Jackie and the pink suit and the blood. I was brokenhearted like everyone else. Kennedy was as brilliant as he was charming, and I had a wonderful personal relationship and rapport with him. He teased me a lot. I remember on St. Patrick's Day one year JFK came over to the press pool, and I said, "It's a great day for the Irish, Mr. President." And he said, "Well, what are you doing here, Helen?"

Journalism was never for me. Writing does not come easily to me. For Ms. Thomas:

"I got into it because I am very, nosy, very curious, and because I thought it was a great profession. It's an education every day to be in journalism, and it's given me a great life."

I just love this movie. Haven't seen it in ages. And why did she always say "Thank you, Mr. President."

"I was following a tradition. My old colleague Merriman Smith was the one who invented the phrase during the Truman era. After that, whoever was the senior reporter at a news conference would say it. That was my role for many years."

All courtesy of your April issue of Playboy.

Cool things

2011-03-23T18:59:00.000-04:00

It's sunny. It is too warm in my house. Hallelujah. I taped plastic over my fireplace because in the winter it is a serious draft. So much that you can't start fires without priming the flue. Well today, with this lovely weather, it looks like we vacuum sealed the fireplace in plastic. And am now realizing in retrospect why we didn't need fires this winter.

I "Lime-a-wayed" all the faucets in the house. Y'all, if you have hard water, just go ahead and do this. I feel a little ridiculous for waiting this long. And now it doesn't take three minutes to fill a pitcher.

The April issue of Playboy came in the mail. While normally the mag is more entertaining in the Winter, still always a good read. The interview is of Helen Thomas. So that should be interesting.

I'm having Velveeta Shells and Cheese for dinner. With Shiraz. From a box.

I started making martinis for the first time this week. Looks like I was paying attention, because I'm pretty damn good at it.

I just had to share

2011-03-22T05:42:00.000-04:00

Dear Ann Landers,

Last weekend, we celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. This morning they left on a long-awaited trip to Hawaii. They were as excited as if it were their honeymoon! When my parents married, they had only enough money for a three-day trip 50 miles from home. They made a pact then that each time they made love, they would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their 50th anniversary. Dad was a policeman, and Mom was a schoolteacher. They lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs. Raising five children was a challenge, and sometimes, money was short. But no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not let mom take any money out of the “Hawaii account.” As the amount grew, they put it in a savings account and then bought CDs.

My parents were always very much in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling Mom, “I have a dollar in my pocket.” She would smile at him and reply, “I know just how to spend it.” When each of us children married, Mom and Dad gave us a small metal box and told us their secret, which we found enchanting. All five of us are now saving for our dream honeymoons. Mom and Dad never told us how much money they managed to save, but it must have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs, they had enough for airfare to Hawaii, plus hotel accommodations for 10 days and plenty of spending money. Before they boarded the plane, Dad winked and said, “Tonight we are starting an account for Cancun. That should only take 25 years!”

Ann, I thought you’d enjoy this story about 50 great years of intimacy in marriage!

From a loving daughter in Abilene, Texas

Is that not the sweetest thing? And not a bad idea either.

Back to the Real World

2011-03-21T10:24:00.000-04:00

Since Jeff took off Thursday and Friday so we could bask in March Madness glory, Monday is always a bit of a downer. But! My bracket is still hanging in there. Stupid Syracuse. I had them in my Final Four.

I also discovered a fun Tetris game, very reminiscent of the early 90's. And it's really hard to stop playing it. Really.

I'm supposed to tutor today. Maybe she won't cancel this time. I'm so jazzed about grammar.

Stay Tuned

2011-03-17T14:04:00.000-04:00

Until March Madness is over.

I have a sick sense of humor.

2011-03-16T13:01:00.000-04:00

But I find it hilarious this is news.

All opinions of the death penalty put aside, we can't even streamline how to kill people? It really can be a fairly simple procedure. I know, I've seen dead people.

And the last sentence, "Georgia has no executions scheduled.," Well, thank goodness someone cleared that one up. Because there's not enough going on that I need to worry about Sociopath Joe not getting his timely call to the pearly gates.

Did y'all hear about Japan? Now that's a major bummer.

Oh! Sick sense of humor, part II. Jeff has traveled to Japan, Australia and New Zealand for work in the past couple of months. Apparently his magnificence is causing natural disasters.