So I told him about the incident, and he took all in stride in his soothing voice. Though I sincerely hope he has a different voice out of the office, or that would be irritating. But in this setting, it works fairly well. It keeps me talking, which is the most important part. He asked me if even wanted to change my meds because I still had hormonal fluctuations to deal with. (Awesome...) But I do think upping the Zoloft is a good idea. I'm still a bit of a tired mess.
But onto the real reason for this post.
Somehow I managed to have a very realistic dream this morning, so much so I told myself to wake up half way in between the dream and awake. It was about me screwing up and acting irresponsibly in which practically everyone I know confronted me about it. Embarrassing after embarrassing after shameful moment in my sleep. So perhaps I should just confront it myself. Get it out there. Try to release the shame. Because that dream sucked donkey balls. Right through the middle of a scar done almost exactly five years ago.
And that's half a yoga mat I stand on while at the sink or stove.
If I ever see a shrink -- and there's no doubt it'd do me good -- I hope talks like Morgan Freeman. "You'll be fine," or "Stop that," would be so authoritative in his voice, I'd believe anything he said. And yeah, I believe it does help to get the bad mojo out on the table, even though it's not easy. It's like the valve on a pressure cooker, if you're old enough to remember what one of those is like.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost a never bad idea to see a therapist. (Particularly one with an actual PhD. No offense to the MSW's.) MD's are not for listening. They just have the script pad. That wonderful, wonderful pad.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about the bad mojo; I had another shitty dream this morning.
And no, I don't remember those. In use that is. I do remember the weird green pot we had Moma said used to be for the pressure cooker.